Shenandoah and Monticello

Knowing that we would be traveling in the South in the summertime, we were sure to pack bug repellent to keep away the mosquitoes. We did not, however, pack enough to ward off giant cootie bugs! We thought that insects only grew this big in Florida!

Our morning activities began with a tour of American Celebration on Parade, a museum featuring parade floats and decorations from such occasions as presidential inaugurations, New Years' parades, Thanksgiving parades, Miss America pageants, and other grand events. We could almost feel the excitement of the expectant crowds that always line the streets for a glimpse of these brilliantly colorful, often animated constructions.

The variety of materials that are used to cover the floats were often surprising and fascinating. The feathers of the American Bald Eagle that appears in every presidential inauguration are made of hand-painted carpet padding, for example. Most of the floats have been used in more than one parade and have been covered differently for each. The parade with the strictest policy is, of course, the Tournament of Roses parade, which requires that all entries be covered in natural materials. In addition to flowers, such items as grass, horsehair, bark, and crushed coffee beans have been used to this purpose.

Just up the hill from the parade museum, guarded by a small herd of friendly goats, is the entrance to the Shenandoah Caverns. The temperature in this underground cathedral stays at about 50 degrees Fahrenheit, making it necessary for us to dress warmly. That was a welcome change from the unrelenting heat and humidity that had been stalking us since Niagara Falls. Over 200 feet deep, the caverns seemed alive as new rock continued to form undisturbed by our presence. The colors and shapes we found within the darkened recesses were reminiscent of the hot springs at Yellowstone, though they were much cooler and not as foul smelling. Our tour guide showed us the pair of stalactite and stalagmite closest to closing the gap between them. By our 25th anniversary, we should be able to return and find that they have fused to form a column. We only hope that our love will continue to bring us closer together in such a beautiful way as time passes. Something tells us it will. Just a hunch.

After our tour of the caverns, we moved southeast to Charlottesville and the home of Thomas Jefferson, Monticello. After a nearly unbearable wait outside in the heat, Kala was very relieved to find that one modern improvement had been made to the historic residence of our third president: air conditioning had been installed! We breathed a sigh of relief and enjoyed a guided tour of rooms that had been designed and occupied by Jefferson. The tour also gave us some insight into his personality, which was intriguing. He was always busy doing something purposeful, making him an easy man to like, but a difficult one with whom to keep up.

Our next stop on the way to Roanoke was Natural Bridge, Virginia, a small tourist town built up around, well, a natural bridge. We didn't bother with the bridge, but we did enjoy a few of the other attractions, including a haunted house, a dinosaur park, and a wax museum complete with a wax figure factory tour. Of course, we also had to stop along the road and take a picture of Foamhenge.

The Haunted Monster Museum was a pretty typical haunted house, and, even though Kala experienced the whole thing with her face buried in Andy's shirt, we both had a lot of fun there.

Escape from Dinosaur Kingdom, however, was something else entirely. This was the sort of place we were sure nobody would believe existed if we hadn't taken pictures. The story goes like this: In 1863, a local family (and their pet monkey "Blinky") went digging for fossils in the nearby caverns and stumbled upon a valley of living dinosaurs. Unfortunately, the Union army had gotten there first and were planning to train the creatures for use as a weapon of mass destruction against the rebels. Could the family (and their pet monkey "Blinky") survive long enough to escape and warn the Confederacy? We doubt anyone will ever know, since the scenes re-created in Escape from Dinosaur Kingdom include no resolution whatsoever. Perhaps one day someone will get around to finishing the story.

As for the Natural Bridge Wax Museum and wax figure factory tour, the biggest thrill was the glee that Andy always seems to derive from Kala's severe discomfort around what she views as simulated corpses. The scenes staged in the museum were mostly about local folklore and history, and the likenesses of the few famous faces we found there were rather poor. The best piece in the museum was an eight-minute show about Leonardo da Vinci's painting of the Last Supper. In it, each figure is highlighted in turn, and an interpretation is given of his expression and reaction to Christ's announcement that one of them will betray him. This is the establishment's most famous piece and it is easy to see why.

The factory tour delivered the disappointing news that this particular "wax museum" actually uses vinyl in the production of its figures. It showed the steps of molding and casting the faces and bodies, and of dressing the completed pieces. The hall of faces proved to be the scariest part of the whole tour for Kala.

Finally, completely exhausted and not just a little bit cranky, Kala demanded that we quit for the day and go to Roanoke to find a place to sleep. Andy named just one condition: We would make one final stop before seeking lodging, to visit the Star of Roanoke, which sits illuminated atop Mill Mountain, overlooking the city. Kala sleepily agreed. The Star was not difficult to find. At 88 feet from top to bottom and lit up in red, white, and blue, it would have been hard to miss.

After a long day and a late dinner, it is time for bed. Tomorrow should be a more relaxing day of driving and visiting friends, but you just never know.